I was always a serial procrastinator there was very little i would do without want or motivation, if i didn't want to, or have to, it didn't matter. Obviously this is a very bad idea if you want to do about anything you actually want to do, i often found that some of the things i didn't want to do, were the things i actually did want to and were in fact more enjoyable than not. This wasn't true of everything of course, i don't want to be boiled alive, nor do i think it would be a positive experience. But for the things i actually wanted to do, the answer was deceptively simple, fear, fear was the thing that kept me. This sounds obvious now, but this kind of fear was deceptive, it hid behind real worries. When i am scared its usually very obvious to me i can feel it in my stomach, like a gut punch i start to think that I'm screwed, "I made a terrible mistake and there's no way out." I tell myself, then i simply throw up my hands and simply give up, thinking that there's no way out and i shouldn't worry about it. But the kind of fear that causes procrastination is truly an invisible enemy, it cloaks itself like an octopus, changing itself to appear as a rock to hide from a predator, an annoyance. Maybe you need to do the clothes, or maybe you need to mow the lawn, dishes? Did i brush my teeth today? Did i forget breakfast? These thoughts attack your mind and they cause a vicious cycle, you get everything done, except the one thing you needed to do.

I have found a strategy in killing this annoyance, once i find this fear creeping into my mind disguising itself as a chore or some other menial task, i let myself be angry. Angry at this damned thing trying to propagate into my mind and control me, my thoughts and my life. Once you realize that it hates you, you can hate it.